A Segue
by Ha'niqua
Summary: Pansy just wanted to apparate home, slip out of her six inch Loubouton's and guilt her utterly smitten boyfriend into giving her a massage, instead of spending the night squabbling over melted ice cream. Ron/Pansy, K for innuendos.


A response to Challenge #14 from the D/G Forum's Challenge Tag.

**Prompt: **'Sometimes she worried about her boyfriend's obsession with the colour red.'

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><p><span>A Segue<span>

As Pansy leant against the stand of cabbages and examined her nails boredly, she swore to herself this would be the final time she would ever step foot in a supermarket. Again.

"Pans, can you please just pick what you want me to cook you for dinner? The ice cream is melting!" Ron swung the basket full of desserts wildly, as though to slow down the melting process. Or to just draw her attention to the aforementioned melting 'situation' - honestly Pansy wasn't entirely sure which, and in her near-catatonic state didn't particularly care either way. She just wanted to apparate home, slip out of her six inch Loubouton's and guilt her utterly smitten boyfriend into giving her a massage while she prattled on about how utterly trashy the other women in her office were.

"I already told you darling - I want a salad. Preferably a meatless, leafy one." At least she was keeping the task easy for him. Apparently Molly Weasley had been too busy pumping out her spawn to actually teach her male progeny to fend for themselves.

Ron frowned. "But Pans, I hate salad. It's all green."

"Well what would you recommend, chef premier?"

"A steak - my specialty, of course." Pansy could practically see the drool dripping from the side of his mouth.

"Urgh, Ron, can you even cook a steak?"

"Of course I can cook a steak! I'm a man. Men cook steaks."

"Yeah, and I know for a fact that you practically eat the thing raw. I like my meat alive when it's dripping blood everywhere, thank you very much."

He shot her a heated look. "I'm well aware of your appetites, Pans. You've tested me enough on them the past few evenings."

Pansy was ashamed to say that she almost blushed. "In that case, school's cancelled for tonight because I'm far too tired to try to improve you."

"Improve me?" Ron's face flushed a deep red. "What do you mean 'improve,' Pans? You think I'm not good enough for you, or something?"

Woops. "Don't be ridiculous, darling. I was merely pointing out that your performance in the bedroom wasn't up to my usual standard."

"So now you're just comparing me to your exes? I'm just not enough of a pretty-boy, pureblooded Slytherin for you?"

Dammit Merlin, she really wasn't cut out for this kind of thing. She'd take a professionally clean-cut interview with a diva witch any day - she was far better at controlling a conversation than actively participating in one. A segue. That's what she needed to distract Ron from his current less-than-favourable topic.

"If I wanted a pretty-boy, pureblooded Slytherin then I'd be dating Draco. And we all know how that turned out," Pansy barely suppressed a shudder at the thought of the infamous junior Malfoy playing 'happy family' with Ron's sister. It was bad enough that Ginny had been the one to finally get Draco settled down, but the fact that she'd nixed his life-long disdain for children and won him over to the 'Weasley way' was another kettle of fish entirely. "I like a man who knows how to romance a girl... particularly with a delicious, hearty meal and a dessert as sweet as I am." She gave him one of her knowing smiles - the kind she reserved especially for individuals that wanted more than just to see her naked.

Pansy was unsurprised when Ron's face flushed a deep fuschia - being around natural redheads really did desensitize you after an extended amount of time. Confident in her success at the change in topic, she slowly dragged a hand up her thigh, hip then breast to play with the almost black strands of hair flowing across her shoulders. His eyes followed her every movement. "Now enough of this steak business, darling. How do you expect a tiny thing like me to stomach that? Besides, I need to watch my figure for the upcoming fashion show I have to cover for work - I can't have those praying-mantis models taking me for some dowdy reporter. That means nothing but leafy greens for the next few weeks, capiche?"

Ron scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Pans, I refuse to eat anything green. And you know I love you better when you've got more meat on you."

She merely raised her brow at the latter well-intended comment, her aching feet too much of a distraction to take real offense. Where was a chair when she needed one? "Fine, Ron. What colour foods _will_ you eat, just so I'm clear on what I can and can't ask you to cook as a romantic gesture towards me?"

"Red, of course. And no the vegetable kind - the meaty, manly kind."

Honestly, sometimes Pansy worried about her boyfriend's obsession with the colour red. It was almost as though his hair had finally grown some roots in his brain, and had begun grossly warping his sense of aesthetics.

Pansy racked her brain for a moment, more than eager to get out of the place. Spaghetti with meatballs was out - too many carbs, not enough vegetables, and Ron would probably lose his eyebrows trying to turn the stove top on. Chicken Cattiatore? She didn't doubt he'd lose a finger or two dicing vegetables, then contribute an unhealthy dose of blood to the sauce. Chilli-Con-Carne? Pansy couldn't help giving a derisive snort to that option.

"For Merlin's sake Ron, you're such a fussy eater. Let's just order a pizza and be done with it so you can start on dessert."

Ron brightened considerably and Pansy could only guess that it was because she had suggested half an 'out' for his big romantic gesture, and his favourite food (after steak) to boot. "Bloody brilliant. What kind of pizza then, Pans?"

"Vegetarian, of course." She smiled brightly, and began strutting her stuff in the direction of the register.

"Vegetarian?" Ron groaned dramatically, bounding after her like a lost puppy. "Don't you want some meat on that?"

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><p>My first PansyRon! Thanks for bearing with this sloppy little piece, everyone. I'm just trying to get back into the swing of writing, even if it kills me. ~_^


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